hottie mcbody

the most sure fire way to make me roll my eyes and sigh is to start your story off with the phrase, "ok so there's this guy..."

i will huff and your droning wah-wah voice will begin numbing my ears while i mindwander to much more stimulating topics. like drying paint.


So please spare me the energy of faking my attention and don't tell me, especially if you don't want my opinion. Now, if you want me to just smile, nod, and say "YES! I think you SHOULD take him back"....then just tell me.....and then cue me when said line should be inserted in our conversation. Because frankly, I'm 23 going on 45 and I'm so beyond any fake enthusiasm about a naive girl falling for a douchejacket a**hole. The story's been done, pick something more original.


Now if someone came to me and said "Ok so there's this lesbian..." you can be sure to have my undivided attention. Just please, girls, grow some ovaries, get all dolled up, and act like fucking ladies. Guys play girls who let themselves be played and this storyline is totally played out. Just like your self-respect.

pinocchio's freudian adventure

sometimes I doubt if I see my life in the same way as others around me do, a skewed version perhaps, as if reality is only the carnival mirror replica of my own ideas. See, I think of my life as a cage...not literally of course but emotionally, as if everything I touch has these tiny, minute silver strings threaded upward that disappear into the air above...so that every move I make, every step or slight brush of the hand sprout these strings and that at the end of the day, I'm so tangled up that I feel trapped in them, and what once were weightless, silver wisps of memory are now chains, thick and bulbous, choking me and leaving me to fall to my knees.

I know the idea is a bit far reaching for some but every moment makes a mark on the unconcious, albeit small in the ordinary avenues of the day, but it's there, that string, on every doorknob or car key or second glance...it's all there, and there's that moment right before when you know that what you do next will affect you in some way so that in 1 hour or 10 years, you will think of it or make a decision subconciously based upon it.

See, I don't believe in deja vu...I believe in those moments, you're simply remembering a memory you haven't had yet. You're remembering your strings.